The Dead Rise in Cincinnati

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On June 28, 2009 we lost a beloved television commercial sponsor, Billy Mays. He was presumed dead for seven years. That is until last week (September 29, 2016) when a man in Cincinnati, OH was arrested by the Cincinnati Police Department.

    Around 1:15 am the CPD recorded a call from the outskirts of the city. The caller allegedly reported “a thin man, clearly intoxicated, is walking around the cul de sac turning over trash bins and shouting profane phrases.”

    Upon police arrival, the man hopped a nearby fence into the backyard area. The man tried to open a sliding door when the police ordered the man to raise his hands. He ignored the order and threw a bottle of cleaning detergent at CPD officer Peter Brown and told him to, “Drink bleach!” The man moved his hand towards his back pocket and Officer Brown discharged his taser.

    Back at the police department, the man was curiously identified to be the deceased Mays, miraculously still alive. Unfortunately, the CPD hasnot released any additional information other than the call and Billy’s mugshot, as they are conducting their investigation into the apparent resurrection.

    Cincinnati Police Chief, Eliot K. Isaac, has stated, “This is certainly a mystery to our officers. Our officials are trying to get ahold of Ms. Mays in Tampa, Florida for questioning. So far Mr. Mays has not explained a reason for faking his death, or for his rowdy behavior earlier this morning. More information will be released in the future.” Continue reading The Paw for more information.

By Patrick Foley

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